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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493242">Worthy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koda_Kitten/pseuds/Koda_Kitten'>Koda_Kitten</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, alcoholic parents</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:28:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koda_Kitten/pseuds/Koda_Kitten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Why does anyone lie? Cuz we're scared? Or crazy? Or just mean?... There's a million reasons why a person lies... But sometimes, you tell a lie so big... that it changes your whole life... Lie's so big... it makes you think…</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sugawara Koushi &amp; Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Worthy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Why does anyone lie? Cuz we're scared? Or crazy? Or just mean?... There's a million reasons why a person lies... But sometimes, you tell a lie so big... that it changes your whole life... Lie's so big... it makes you think...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>~(Y/N)~</p><p> </p><p>It was after Karasuno's practice when I had met Suga. He asked for me to meet him and I did as told despite wanting to go home. I knew what he wanted to talk about, we had avoided talking about it for months now.</p><p>Suga and I...we were in that state of our friendship where it was obvious we liked each other more than friends but were both too scared to take the next step. But earlier today it seemed like he wanted to talk about it.</p><p> </p><p>~Flashback~</p><p> </p><p>I was headed to my final class, Daichi and I were in the same class and usually walked together to catch up. He told me about how volleyball practice was, and how he had a lot of faith in the boys this year.</p><p>As we came to the door, Suga stepped in front of us. A soft smile planted on his face as he looked at me. "Hey Daichi, mind if I borrow (Y/N) for a moment?" he asks.</p><p>Daichi simply nods and reminds Suga not to take too long so I wasn't late. Daichi went to his seat while I fix the bag on my shoulder, then follow the silver-haired boy down the hall.</p><p>When we came to a spot where no one was around, my chest felt tight. "So... can you stop by after practice?" he asks.</p><p>For a moment I felt relieved because this wasn't the first time he had asked me to see him after volleyball practice. He most likely wanted someone to walk home with him. "Sure," I answer.</p><p>"I wanted to talk...I think it's time," he mumbles the last part.</p><p> </p><p>~(Y/N)~</p><p> </p><p>So here I was waiting outside the double doors, usually, I'd go in and watch for a bit but, I needed to mentally prepare. I had arrived an hour early since I didn't have a final period, for a good portion of the time I paced back and forth.</p><p>Now dark, the lights turned on moments after the sunset. The cool air help keep my face from feeling to warm, especially when the breeze came through. But while sitting out there, I had the chance to really think about mine and Suga's relationship.</p><p>I began to question if taking a step further was a good idea. Like, what if we were to break up? That could potentially screw things up between us, and he was one of my closest friends. And let's face it, he came from a better family than I have. I go home to a run-down apartment that looked as though it could collapse at any moment.</p><p>My parents never around, which resulted in me having to get a job and pay the bills, which was not cheap despite the apartment's condition. I was different from Suga, his money has family, and he is able to get into a really good college. I'd consider myself lucky to even get into a college here. It wasn't that I was a bad student, it's just I had a lot of other things on my mind to worry about.</p><p>I was deep in thought not noticing the boys slowly exiting the gym. I only noticed Suga when he was right in front of me, shaking out of my thoughts, I smile up at him. "Hey Suga," I greet rather loudly than expected.</p><p>The boy smiles and throws his bag over his shoulders. "What were you thinkin' about?" he asks.</p><p>As we both slowly began walking for the front gates of the school, I shook my head. "Nothing important."</p><p>When we were just in front of the gates though, Suga tugged at the sleeve of my shirt causing me to stop and turn back to him. His expression serious now as his hazel eyes pierce back at my (e/c) ones. "W-what's with that look Suga?" I ask trying to chuckle it off so he couldn't hear how nervous I was.</p><p>"I can't continue on like this (Y/N)," he says, taking another step closer, he was now only a few inches away from me.</p><p>"W-wha-"</p><p>"I'm in love with you...have been for months now,"</p><p>My breath hitches, as my body stiffens by his confession, my eyes study his face as his cheeks begin to turn a bright red. "And- I know we both will be leaving after this year but... even after that, I wanna be with you. So where ever you go-"</p><p>"Suga," I trail off as my eyes dart to the ground at our shoes. "Y-you're my best friend, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you but...I don't love you...not that way,"</p><p>Before I could watch his face darken in pain, I turned and ran home. I had never lied to him before until now. But I thought that this was best, that he'd find someone worthy of his affection. Not some nobody, and no matter how I felt about him, I didn't deserve him.</p><p> </p><p>~Time Skip~</p><p> </p><p>Upon arriving home, I found the kitchen light on. There my mother sat at the table, a glass of whiskey in her cup while her head laid on the wooden table clearly passed out.</p><p>On the table was a large pile of mail, I hadn't bothered to go through most of it unless it was bills or grades. But as I walked around the table I found my latest report card sitting open under my mother's hand.</p><p>As I hung up my bag on the hook, I heard my mother shift and the chair creaked. "Ah shit, (Y/N)!" she yells,</p><p>Jumping away from my backpack I stood before her. "Yes?" I ask softly.</p><p>"Oh, can you make me dinner please, something hot my head is killing me," she groans.</p><p>"Okay,"</p><p>As I got a pot out and placed it on the stove, I filled it with water then turned on the fire to begin cooking. My back was turned to my mother, and I hadn't known she looked at my report card again. "By the way, what's with these shitty grades?" she asks.</p><p>I glance back at her as she lifts the paper. "Oh...well I've just been really busy."</p><p>"Busy? What could you possibly be doing? You only work a few days out of the week while your father and I work all week-"</p><p>Something snapped as I spin around to face her, "Really? Because while you and dad are off getting wasted, I've been going to work after school to pay for the bills, I barely have time to study because I'm working late. Tonight I actually got off because my boss said I could use the break,"</p><p>In the moment it felt like a weight was lifted off of my chest but then my mother stood up. "Oh yeah? And if you're such an adult then you can get the hell out. It's not like we need you anyway! Would save me and your dad a lot of money not having to feed you or send you to school-"</p><p>"Fine! I don't wanna live in this shithole anyway!" I snap back, at that time I should've planned out what to say instead of getting angry like that. I should've at least talked it out and waited to leave when I had a place to settle but nope. I didn't even finish making my mother her dinner, I was off in my room packing the necessities.</p><p>Walking out the front door with my school backpack, another bag over my shoulder, and a single luggage suitcase, I begin heading down the sidewalk. My best bet was to just find a place to sleep by school. But along the way, I passed by it and ran into Tanaka. "Woah hey," he says stopping in his tracks.</p><p>"Hey," I simply say prepared to walk away from him.</p><p>"You runnin' away or something?" he asks.</p><p>I stop and turn to look back at him, "No, my mom kicked me out," I mutter the last bit after 'no' feeling ashamed to be seen by one of Suga's teammates.</p><p>"You somewhere to stay?" he then asks.</p><p>Quickly I shook my head before fixing the strap of one of my bags that began to ride down. "Come on," he says.</p><p> </p><p>~2 Months Later~</p><p> </p><p>It had been a miserable two months, despite having a place to stay at Tanaka's I couldn't help but feel like a burden to them. But I was grateful for the kindness they show me on a daily basis making sure I ate.</p><p>And even though I felt miserable I had started to see a change in my grades now that I wasn't having to work so much. I cut my family off once I had left which meant I no longer had to worry about their financial struggles.</p><p>But the miserable part was...Suga was avoiding me. I couldn't blame him, especially when I flat out told him I didn't feel the same. But I had hoped we'd remain friends, but even then I'd feel guilty. I did lie to him, and if I told him that, what would he think of me then? Someone toying with his emotions?</p><p>I ended up telling Tanaka about it the first night I stayed with him because I was in a really bad state of mind after fighting with my mom and rejecting Suga. From that day on he has told me to just tell Suga how I feel and that I deserved to be happy now that my parents no longer were holding me back.</p><p>But even just seeing him in the hall, my heart would stop and I'd feel this awful pit in my stomach. Tanaka was at my side, nudging me to go say hi, but I flashed a glare his way. "Come on (Y/N), the only way he's gonna know is if you tell him," he says.</p><p>I let out a sigh and grab his arm pulling him off to the side. "What could I possibly say to him?" I ask.</p><p>"Oh, I don't know, that you love him for one. That you miss him. He'd totally overlook the fact you lied to him,"</p><p>I still wasn't convinced that it would be enough. I went through the day trying to figure out what I was going to say. But even writing it down didn't seem to help, my mind was a mess, even practicing was useless. So after school, I was heading back home by myself while Tanaka had practice.</p><p>Exiting through the front gate, I turn in the direction that took me home when I noticed someone leaning against the wall. Their head was down as they rested on their side. I assumed it was a drunk homeless person but as I stepped closer I knew exactly who it was.</p><p>"Mom, what are you doing here?" I ask.</p><p>Coming to help her up, she leans her back against the brick wall and let out a shaky breath. "Fuck," she whispers.</p><p>Glancing down at her hand, I take the booze from her and toss them to the ground. "I know you, and you wouldn't be out like this openly drunk, what's going on?" I ask.</p><p>She looked me in the eye as tears formed in hers. Without warning, she pulls me into her arms and begins to sob rather loudly into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry (Y/N)!"</p><p>Standing there in shock I didn't even hug her back, I just let her cry. "M-"</p><p>For a moment she stepped back and wiped her eyes. "Y-you know that last day we were together? And I told you we didn't need you?" she croaks.</p><p><em>How could I forget?</em> "Yeah,"</p><p>She sniffles and looks to the ground in shame. "I lied, it wasn't true,"</p><p>"Why?" I ask.</p><p>She looked up at me seriously now and said, "Why does anyone lie? Cuz we're scared? Or crazy? Or just mean?... There's a million reasons why a person lies... But sometimes, you tell a lie so big... that it changes your whole life... Lie's so big... it makes you think... but you...wouldn't understand right now,"</p><p>Everything she said, seemed to hit me hard and instantly made me think of Suga. I lied because I was scared and wanted him to have better. And in the end, it did change my life, I couldn't stand being away from him at all. Having to see him on a daily basis and not being able to talk to him hurt.</p><p>"Look I can wait for the bus with you but then I have to go," I tell her.</p><p>Then she smiles weakly and shakes her head. "No honey, it's okay. I'm just gonna walk...sobber up a bit,"</p><p>I watched her turn and begin stumbling away from me and while I stood there silently my gaze when back to the school. <em>Maybe it's not too late.</em> Starting slowly I re-enter school grounds and head for the gym. Walking along with the doors I stood a few feet from the doors. They were open and I watched the volleyball hit the floor every now and then.</p><p>Slowly taking a step up, I stop on the hardwood. Looking around I watched the others as they practiced on receives or serves. Walking around the court towards the coach, I said hello and remained by his side.</p><p>When my eyes caught Suga's I watched his face shift to confusion before stopping. And then Kiyoko came up to him with a towel causing him to smile then blush. <em>Maybe this was a bad idea, he's in the middle of practice.</em> Without saying goodbye I began walking towards the door again, quickly now so I wouldn't get hit by a ball.</p><p>Upon exiting, I stop in my tracks when I heard a familiar voice call for me. Hearing his steps get closer, my arm was then grabbed and I look to him. "What are you doing here?" he asks.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"Yes, I just wanted to stop by and-"</p><p>"Suga, we need you back in there," Kiyoko calls.</p><p>The silver-haired boy looks back and nods. "Just a sec!" he calls, once she leaves his gaze was back on me. I gulp nervously.</p><p>"It's too late isn't it?" I ask softly.</p><p>"Too late? For what?"</p><p>"I lied to you,"</p><p>"Lied?</p><p>"Y-yeah when you told me you loved me and I said no...remember?"</p><p>His eyes softened looking sad as the memory came to mind. "Yeah,"</p><p>"I lied it- it wasn't true I- I love you," I pause as my eyes shoot to the ground, my heart pounding. I felt lightheaded like I was about to pass out, my mind racing as the words kept spilling out in stutters. "It's just- I lied because I... I thought you deserved something better," my eyes felt warm as I glance up again looking directly at his hazel ones.</p><p>He looked serious, but then his looked as if he realized what I meant. "Something better than you...(Y/N) there isn't anything better than you,"</p><p>Then with that, my heartfelt tight and my lips crack up into a weak smile. Before I could react though, his hands were on my face pulling me in towards him. His lips crashing down on mine and my hands rest on his sides while my eyes shut tightly.</p><p>Returning the passionate kiss, I step up on my tiptoes so we were level with each other. From that moment on Suga made sure I never questioned my worth again.</p>
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